


The Art of Helping

by Lattes_lipstick_literature



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Deaths, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Little Sister Faith, Sisterhood, Slayers, big sister buffy, sorry i suck at tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lattes_lipstick_literature/pseuds/Lattes_lipstick_literature
Summary: "You can say no," and Buffy started opening her mouth to do just that, but Whistler spoke again "but you're both still going to be dead and no Red isn’t going to revive you,” Whistler sighs, his gaze is sympathetic and imploring, Buffy hates it.Buffy and Faith have no choice but to leave their world behind and enter a new one to help save two brothers who seem to never get a break.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how soon you'll see the boys from Supernatural, but you will eventually. I'm not going to include the relationships until I include Sam and Dean to the story but just to let you know it will probably be Buffy/Dean and Faith/Sam. I also like to write long-winded fics. Most of my chapter fics are long so if that bothers you I suggest you turn around now.

They had done it, just closed the hell mouth, Sunnydale was now a crater, they had just turned all the slayers into potentials. Buffy was glad but also very heartbroken these past couple of months were the hardest she's ever had to go through and that's saying something because she's died. _Twice_ or was it now three times? Buffy shook her head at herself, either way, they had just lost their homes, the place where her mother was buried. Buffy allowed her tears to fill her vision but refused to let them fall, now was not the time to mourn.

Buffy felt a presence at her back and turned her head slightly in acknowledgment. Faith nodded to her and Buffy nodded back. Things were far from fixed between them but there was understanding and respect to accompany the bitterness and anger. She knew they needed to have a long talk but didn't know when they would ever have the time. All Buffy knew was that she didn't want to hate the other Slayer anymore. She was too tired, too worn, and just too done. 

"Buffy!" She heard Dawn called from the bus. "We need to go!" Dawn made sure to also look at Faith as she said this. Faith moved first with Buffy taking one last look before heading into the awaiting vehicle. 

Surprisingly it didn't take long for Buffy to drift off into slumber, being as exhausted as she was but seeing an all-white room and a familiar face made anger seethe in her gut.

"Whistler" she stated through gritted teeth. She took a step forward menacingly but was stopped by another voice.

"What the hell?" Buffy looked over her shoulder at Faith and a small bout of Deja Vu hit her. "What's going on B? Who the hell is this guy" Buffy turned back to look at the balance demon. 

"That's Whistler, Demon who just loves to mess with my life, as far as what's going on, well I'd like to know that as well." She glares at the tacky suit-wearing demon. Faith cracked her knuckles.

"Should we just kill him?" The dark-haired woman took a step towards the guy, but he held out his hands in protest. 

"Whoa there now, there's no killing that needs to be done. The Powers are impressed with what you did today, wanted me to tell you good job." Buffy nodded, she knew that already 

"So, what you wanted to just say 'hey sorry for interrupting your sleep but good job?' Yeah send us back I'm so not in the mood." The demon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah can't do that see, You guys did a spell to create a hell of a lot of slayers, tipped the balance bar a bit too far to the side of good if you know what I'm saying." Buffy clenched her fist.

"So, we will reverse it that should put it back right?" Faith shrugged beside her obviously pleased with her decision and Buffy nodded her head agreeing. 

"Sorry sweetheart," Faith tensed at the endearment "This spell is not reversible, so that whole refund thing is not going to work" 

"Okay, so what do you need us to do?" This time Buffy spoke, and the demon looked at them with an expression that didn't sit right with the blonde Slayer.

"Hurry it up and tell us, I'd like to get back to my dream," Whistler's gaze flicked between the two girls, he sighed 

"I hate that I'm always the one the used for this," he mumbled easily picked up by the slayers. " There's no going back. Buffy, you took a knife to the gut not to mention a whole lot of other injuries, Faith your head was bashed against the wall so hard you dented your skull, those wounds are not repairable. " Buffy felt her body go cold she let her eyes flicker to the woman beside her and the way Faith paled she knew that she was feeling the same way.

"So, what are you saying?" Buffy gritted out looking back at the demon in front of them.

"Right now, Dawn is realizing that you’re not breathing and Xander is trying to revive Faith. Your dead, both of you." Buffy was surprised at how calm she was so this was the fourth time she's died, that really sucks. Faith, on the other hand, wasn't taking it as well.

"Motherfucker!" The woman let out, she took a shaky breath one that almost made Buffy reach out to her, but she stayed her hand. It wasn't her place and Faith would absolutely hate it. "So what we’re fucking dead? We do all that shit and we die?" Turning to Buffy she eyed the blonde before asking "Can't red just do some of her mojo and bring us back?" Buffy opened her mouth to respond but Whistler beat her to it.

"No," both women turned to look at him. "Sorry but Red’s not going to be able to save you this time. It doesn't mean she's not going to try but she's going to fail."

"Why?" Buffy was proud of her voice for being so calm because right now she could feel the panic wanting to set in. 

"Because unlike before your souls won't be in this world," Buffy welcomed the confusion that came with that sentence.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Faith let out, it seemed to Buffy that she had been able to put aside her shock at dying and wanted answers just like she did. 

"It means that just because we're dead, it doesn't mean we're done," Buffy let out through gritted teeth. "You know I'm tired of being their little puppet, I'm done." Whistler gave her a sad look and it made her want to smack him

"So, what're they gonna do if we say no?" Faith asked annoyance in her voice. "Can we even say no?" She seemed just as mad as Buffy was. 

"You can say no," and Buffy started opening her mouth to do just that, but Whistler spoke again "but you're both still going to be dead and no Red isn’t going to revive you,” Whistler sighs, his gaze is sympathetic and imploring, Buffy hates it. “Look, if you wanna say no, then say no, but just know this neither one of you are going to heaven.” Buffy feels like she just got punched in the gut, she looks to Faith, but the dark-haired girl just stands there. Chocolate eyes meet Buffy’s hazel but quickly flicker back to the demon and Buffy knows the woman never thought she would be going there. “Buffy, you’ve already been once, and they don’t usually allow anyone in a second time. Faith, you know as well as I do that with the stuff you’ve done you wouldn’t ever get in.” Buffy is surprised that she feels like defending Faith, the other slayer was changed she was no longer the troubled teen she used to be.

“So where would we end up?” Faith asks arms spread wide. 

“Where do you think?” Whistler lifts a brow and both women go quiet. It wasn’t fair, is all that Buffy could think. “Just would you at least hear the offer?” Faith lets out a breath and turns towards the blonde.

“What do you think B?” Faith raises a brow in her direction, but the anger is clear in her brown eyes. With Faith focused on her Buffy focuses herself gathering some resemblance of control. 

“Might as well,” Buffy shrugs, and Whistler smiles. He then proceeds to launch into a story about two brothers who will overcome odds but are going to need a lot of help. He tells them about corrupt angels, Yellow-eyed Demons and crossroad deals. Buffy can’t help it she gets sucked in and notices that Faith does too. 

“So, what are we supposed to do?” Faith asks, and Buffy tilts her head.

“Help, just like you always do.” Both women look at each other and this time Buffy talks.

“How?” Whistler sighs and tells them that all that will happen, but it hasn’t happened yet, and the girls just need to be there to help them live through it. 

“So, what you’re just going to plop us right smack in the middle of the story?” Buffy asks and crosses her arms tighter across her chest.

“Not exactly, it’s sort of going to be like a body swap.” Looking at both women’s confusion Whistler elaborates. “We can’t just put you in the world, it will put the balance too far to one side, and since we don’t have the time to have you actually be born and hope you remember this, we gotta swap you out. There are two sisters we have in mind, Buffy and Faith Ruger.” Buffy widens her eyes at the names. “They are your doppelgangers, kinda. In their world they are going to die, so on the day of their death were going to swap you out and place them where they need to be.” 

“How do they die?” Faith asks and Whistler winces.

“They are raped and murdered by their father,” The demon gives them a look of sympathy. “We can’t stop him from trying but since you’re going to be in their bodies you can stop it and save yourselves.” Buffy and Faith are quiet slowly digesting the information. “You will wake up in their world, complete with your memories and theirs, along with the knowledge I give you here. They look like you guys and have the same names-” Buffy interrupts him.

“Yeah, that seems like way more than a coincidence,” Whistler gives a long sigh

“Yea, well we may have willed it to happen. Look, kids, this has been in the works for a while, and I gotta say there’s a lot riding on you both to do this. If you don’t then you don’t but those souls are still going to heaven, but this time with the memory of what happens to them, and you both will still go to hell.” Buffy looks away and rubs a hand down her face. 

“What about Dawn?” Buffy whispers and Whistler clears his throat and smile spreading across his face. 

“I promise you that Dawn is going to have a long and happy life. She will live until the age of 93 surrounded by her children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren.” Buffy glares and him but he just makes an ‘X’ over his heart. Surprisingly, she believes him. Buffy let out a breath and just nods her head. “Great, now what about you? It’s got to be the both of you. All or nothing.” Faith turns her head and stares at her head-on, Buffy isn’t sure what the other woman is looking for, but she turns back towards the demon and nods her head. “Great!” He snaps his fingers and memories burn themselves into Buffy’s head causing her to grab her head and fall to her knees. She hears Faith do the same thing. 

Buffy’s currently 17, raising her sister with a deadbeat hunter dad who likes to drink and beat on them. Faith is 14, and Buffy does everything she can to protect her sister, most of the time it’s jumping in front of her father’s fists to take a beating. Buffy and Faith only have each other, ever since Faith was 6 months old and Buffy carried her out of a burning building the night their mom died. Their father packed them up and immediately started hunting, but the stress of taking care of two daughters and losing the love of his life lead him down a dark path one that he would never be able to pick himself out of. Tonight, Buffy has enough money in her pockets to finally take her sister and break away from their father. 

“What the fuck, I’m fourteen!” Faith yells at the demon and he winces. “You made me the younger sister? I’m older than Buffy.” Whistler just shrugs at the vitriol coming from Faith. 

“It’s just how the cookie crumbled, plus she has more experience being an older sister,” Faith huffs and Buffy has the urge to wrap her arms around the woman in a hug, but no that’s not right Faith doesn’t do hugs. This whole dual memory thing is going to confuse the hell out of her. 

“There’s another thing,” Whistler lets out and both slayers turn to him with a glare that promises pain and agony. “You will have your powers, it’s just, “ He gives another cough “It’s going to be a while,” Both women open their mouth, no doubt to hurl insults and threats but he moves his hand up in a pacifying gesture. “You’ll get them, but like the whole body swap thing, we can’t do it right away because of the balance. Right now, the powers upstairs are trying to get around that and create the slayer in your new world. It won’t be like how it is here, there isn’t going to be one girl in all the world. Just you two, and only just you two.” Buffy digests this information, it’s been so long since she hasn’t had the slayer power, and no while she doesn’t depend on it for everyday things, she will need it to get out of whatever the hell they are being thrown into. 

Neither of the women say anything, too busy trying to sort their feelings out while two sets of memories ricochet around in their heads. 

“Well, it looks like the time is now ladies.” He walks closer to them but doesn’t touch them, “I’m rooting for you all like always.” He gives them a sad smile and before they can say or do anything, he snaps his fingers.

Buffy’s hazel eyes open and stare at a dingy dirty ceiling. 


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Language" Buffy chided instinctively then frowned at the thoughts swirling around her head. Buffy didn't care what type of language Faith used unless it was in front of Dawn, but this world Buffy didn't want her sister Faith to make a habit of cursing. Rubbing a hand across her face, Buffy knew that especially now she and Faith were going to have to talk. Their relationship needed to be worked out because half of Buffy wanted to protect her, and half already knew she didn't need it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been incredibly sick and I only have recently started feeling better enough to write and post. Hopefully, I don't get sick anymore. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter! Just a warning things do get dark before they get better.

It took Buffy a little while to focus her thoughts enough to take stock of the situation, having two sets of memories warring inside her skull made it hard to concentrate.

She was laying on a full spring mattress that had a spring on the verge of coming loose and Buffy's Left arm was numb. The warm weight at her left combined with the numbness of her limb told Buffy that Faith was right next to her. Faith's groan confirmed her thoughts.

"Fuck," The darker-haired girl let out.

"Language" Buffy chided instinctively then frowned at the thoughts swirling around her head. Buffy didn't care what type of language Faith used unless it was in front of Dawn, but this world Buffy didn't want her sister Faith to make a habit of cursing. Rubbing a hand across her face, Buffy knew that especially now she and Faith were going to have to talk. Their relationship needed to be worked out because half of Buffy wanted to protect her, and half already knew she didn't need it.

"Seriously B?" Came a young voice and Buffy turned her head to look at her new sister. Faith was small and skinny with large dark eyes that Buffy knew she would eventually grow into. Faith in reverse her mind supplied. She watched as the younger girl sat up, rubbing her eyes and frowning. "This bed sucks," Buffy nodded then sat up and stretched shaking her left arm to try and wake it up.

She really hated the pins and needles sensation.

Making her way into the small bathroom she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. At the age of 17 otherworld Buffy was tanned with light blonde hair that she made sure looked good, and despite being out every night patrolling and getting up early to go to school Buffy always looked healthy and well-rested. This Buffy was pale with slightly oily dirty blonde hair that had grown long down past the middle of her back, and dark bags under her eyes with her lips slightly chapped, Buffy also looked skinnier than her original self-did. This was probably due to the countless moves her family did and always being on edge around their dad.

Suddenly Buffy's eyes widen, and she ran towards the bedroom, letting out a curse of her own when she realized the time.

"Faith!" She yelled at the young girl who was still on the bed. "Get up we gotta get moving!" Chocolate eyes looked at her in confusion then widened. They were supposed to be long gone by now, Buffy had the money to finally get her sister and herself away from their father and they had fallen asleep.

Both girls moved around the room stuffing everything they needed into their duffels, but the opening and closing of the living room door and a slurred curse had them freezing mid-pack.

"Girl, where the hell is dinner?" Came a gruff yelled and Buffy let out a breath, looking over at her sister Faith's face was the combination of fear and anger. Buffy widened her eyes in a silent 'stay here' and turned to go into their living room.

"Hey, how was the hunt?" She asked with a fake perky voice, trying to keep down the trepidation she felt at seeing the man who was supposed to be this Buffy and Faith's father.

"Done, now answer the question!" He yelled hazel eyes that looked so much like her own narrowed in anger and Buffy refused to allow herself to show fear.

"It's only 4, I haven't started yet." She hoped that didn't get her a smack in the face, but that depended entirely on how much he's had to drink. Luckily for them, it wasn't at that point yet.

"Oh," He left out and Buffy almost let out a sigh in relief. That relief was short-lived when she felt someone come to her side and resisted the urge to shove Faith back into the bedroom when the man's gaze landed on her sister slayer. He licked his lips and them smiled at the girls, Faith surprised her by gripping her wrist tightly at it. "You know it's been a while since we had some take out, and you two have been very good girls. Honey, why don't you go and get us a bucket of chicken at that place up the road, get any kinda sides you want. You can even take the truck." He dug into his pockets taking out some cash and the keys, the entire time his eyes on Faith.

Buffy walked forward and the man's eyes glanced at her for a second as she grabbed the cash and keys then turned back towards the smaller girl. Buffy resisted the urge to sneer and grab the man who she had inherited her looks from, Faith had inherited her mother's looks and every day was looking more and more like the mother that had died in their house fire so long ago. Buffy knew that was the reason why the man had taken such an interest in the younger girl.

"Let's go, Faith," Buffy ordered, and the girl started forward but was stopped by the man, Buffy was not going to call him father, and she saw Faith's hands curl into fists.

"Hey now, you can go by yourself. You're a big girl, plus it's been a while since Faith, and I have spent any time alone together." Buffy had never in the 14 years, adult Faith's face popped in her mind for a second, but Buffy pushed it away, that Faith has been alive let her father ever be alone with the younger girl and she was not about to let it happen now.

"I may need help with the food," She started but the man cut her off.

"Dammit, girl! I said go yourself!" He turned towards her anger set on his features, but Buffy didn't care She's faced hundreds of Vampires, a freaking hell god, and the first evil. There was no way this man was going to scare her, despite the tiny voice in the back of her head telling her this was bad.

"No," She growled out and the man's eyes widened.

"What did you say?" The sentence was said lowly with a hint of a growl and Buffy stood her ground.

"No, I am not leaving her alone with you." Buffy's eyes caught Faith's movement behind the man, and it proved to be a mistake. She didn't see the fist coming, and pain blossomed in her cheek. She hit the floor hard, landing rough hands and cursing her now hurt knee. Having no time to think the man was on her. A kick to her stomach had Buffy gasping for air. Trying to get up her hair was grabbed and pulled tight by a fist before her face was smacked into a wall. Her hair was pulled back again but suddenly let go.

Buffy blinked away the spots in her vision and forced the pain away, an action both world Buffy's were used to doing. Turning around she saw Faith had jumped onto the man's back trying to choke him out, but she got slammed twice in the wall and saw the small girl falter. Buffy stepped into action.

She knew she didn't have her slayer speed, strength, or stamina right now, but she didn't spend every day practicing different fighting and weapon styles with Giles to not have some of it stick. Getting into a stance she attacked the man, kicking one of his legs out then in the chest. He didn't go down but teetered slightly and Buffy aimed a punch to the face. It glanced off his ear as the older man dodged. A beefy fist was now aimed at her and Buffy barely dodge out of the way, but her knee twisted in pain and she was unbalanced unable to dodge the next punch that hit her in the chest.

She stumbled back and was tackled hitting her head on the floor. A hand made its way around her throat suddenly and she couldn't breathe. Gasping for breath she clawed at the hand, trying desperately to get it to loosen.

"Let her go!" She heard a voice cry out and saw Faith once again climb onto the man's back-scratching and biting. The hand not around her neck grabbed dark hair but the girl refused to let go. Through blurry vision Buffy saw something shiny at her side and reached for it, remembering vaguely that it had fallen out of the man's coat. Wrapping her hands around it she swung it at her attacker. Blood splatter against her face and took her by surprise, the hand at her throat loosened and she blinked through the tears to see what happened.

The object she had picked up with a silver knife, used to kill a number of supernatural things her mind whispered, and she had stabbed it into the man's neck. Staring in absolute horror, she realized she must have hit an artery because there was just so much blood. Buffy watched as he reached for his own neck, scrambling back as he started to fall then slump on the floor. She watched him take his last breath, her own breathing loud in her ears.

"Buffy," a voice whispered but she paid it no mind. She had killed a man, not a vampire or some other supernatural creature but a flesh and blood human being. "Buffy," The voice was louder, and Buffy realized that she had stopped breathing herself. "Buffy!" yelled Faith and time which seemed to stand still suddenly moved again and Buffy looked at the younger girl. Faith's own eyes, which looked old despite her age, were wide and intense. "We need to do something," She urged, and Buffy nodded.

At first teenage Buffy had been upset at the small house that had been rented because it was so far from a neighbor and no one would hear them if they cried for help, but now she was glad. She knew that they needed to get out of there, she may be able to call the cops and tell them it was self-defense but they would still take her into custody and separate her from Faith. Absolutely hating her next plan right now she saw no other choice.

"We need to get rid of the body," She told Faith, pushing away the memories that resurfaced at the term, she instructed Faith to grab the shovel, salt, and gas from the man's truck. The girl nodded snatching the keys away and running out to grab the items. Buffy felt like she was going to be sick, running on adrenaline and bad decisions, but forced herself to grab the rags and bleach from the kitchen. Then running to the bedroom and grabbing a blanket she worked to wrap the man up then proceeded to clean the blood from the floor. Faith ran in with the stuff and nodded at Buffy immediately moving to help her.

They worked in tandem silence each seemed to know exactly what to do. Buffy scrubbed at her face in the bathroom refusing to think of what exactly she was scrubbing or why it got thereafter she was cleaned, she set about cleaning the knife as well. Once a shallow grave was dug and all of the evidence was in, including Buffy and Faith's clothes, salt and gas was poured in and lit on fire.

Letting the events finally catch up to her, she kneeled beside the fire and started dry heaving for once grateful at not having been able to afford to eat earlier. A small hand rubbed her back and soothing words were murmured in her ear but couldn't really hear them. After a while, the two girls sat and just stared at the flames not daring to move until the embers died completely.

"If anyone asks," Buffy finally spoke.

"He died on a hunt," Faith answered nodding, and Buffy was grateful the other girl knew.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right now, it was pretty hard to think about Buffy, or more specifically her feelings about the blonde. Faith had always been jealous of the other slayer; she had seemingly got everything she had ever wanted while Faith had to fight tooth and nail. She was mature now, despite her physical age now being 14, that she knew her feelings were petty. But there was just so much history that formed a chasm between them and even though they were okay back in their fight against the first, it was nowhere near fixed.

Faith laid her head against the cool window, exhaustion tugging at her but refusing to sleep. Buffy was driving next to her. It was dark out, and the car was completely silent. Faith let the events she had just gone through play out in her head, and she still couldn’t believe it. Buffy had just killed their dad, they had just burned and salted his bones, now they were driving to fuck knows where. 

Sparing a look at the older, and didn’t that just cause some anger, girl Faith examined the bruises on her face. Buffy had a swollen red cheek, a handprint around her neck, and no doubt a bruise on her chest, stomach, hands and knees. Faith, while having no visible bruises, still felt pain from a fight she felt pretty damn useless in. Her fingers ached from trying to scratch the man's eyes out, her scalp was on fire and she knew if she felt it there would be a huge bump on the back of her head.

She sighed and cursed the powers for not being able to give them slayer skills right away. The fight would have been over quick, and Buffy probably would not be having to deal with what comes with having to kill a man. She knows that this would forever alter the blonde, like it had done her. There were still nights when she dreamed of sliding the stake into Allan's body, and all it brought was darkness. While she had come to terms with what she had done, she would never forget it and forgive herself, it was something that she would never wish upon anyone much less Buffy.

Right now, it was pretty hard to think about Buffy, or more specifically her feelings about the blonde. Faith had always been jealous of the other slayer; she had seemingly got everything she had ever wanted while Faith had to fight tooth and nail. She was mature now, despite her physical age now being 14, that she knew her feelings were petty. But there was just so much history that formed a chasm between them and even though they were okay back in their fight against the first, it was nowhere near fixed.

Now, Faith had these new memories and new feelings about the blonde. To the Faith of this world Buffy was her everything, the closest thing she ever had to a mother despite only having a three-year age gap. Faith’s own mother, not the one who died in a fire but the other one, was never that maternal with her. Just a drug addicted woman trying to survive in Boston, who had gotten pregnant but did not know who the father was. Faith’s childhood wasn’t any better than this world’s Faith, but she had spent most of it suffering alone. Now she had Buffy, who had desperately tried to shield her from her father’s fists, had taken many hits for her to be safe, and Faith was grateful. 

Finally, at what seemed like hours of driving they pulled up to a motel that was sketchy enough that they knew wouldn’t I.D. them. 

“Wait here,” Buffy ordered, and Faith tried really hard not to roll her eyes, the overprotective sister thing was nice, but seeing how Buffy acted towards Dawn Faith knew it was not going to work with her. She stayed still none-the-less. Ten minutes later, Buffy walked back to the truck, a frown on her face, but holding a room key. 

“What’s up?” She asked as she opened the door grabbing her duffel as she did. The blonde reached in to grab her own rolling her eyes.

“Guy is a sleaze, if you see him walk the other way.” Faith nodded and they both sluggishly made their way towards the second-floor room 213. Opening the door, she tried not to sneeze at the musty smell of the room, years traveling and staying in questionable places and Faith still wasn’t used to it. Hell, even prison was nicer than this place. Throwing her duffel at the foot of the second bed, she sat down.

“Now what?” She asked and looked towards Buffy but the tears in the other girl's eyes caught her off guard. She watched silently as the girl dropped her duffel and collapsed on the bed, not really knowing what to do. Sobs wracked the small blonde and finally Faith couldn’t take it anymore climbing into the bed and hugging the girl to her. Old Faith had never really been much of a hugger, but this new Faith was used to sharing beds and hugs with her older sister. 

“I killed a man,” She heard Buffy sob out and Faith tried to make soothing noises, but the girl wasn’t calming down. “I killed him, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to,” She cried.

“I know you didn’t,” She answered the girl. “You’re not a killer Buffy,” she whispered but the girl cried harder. It seemed like forever before her sobs quieted down. 

“Will this feeling ever go away?” Buffy asked in a tiny voice and Faith knew she was going to have to break her heart.

“No,” She answered “and it won’t get any better either,” a shake in the blondes body was her answer, she felt horrible but she had to keep going “all you can do is deal with it, deal with it and try to make sure you never do it again. Make sure that you do more good to make up for it,” Buffy nodded, and Faith squeezed the girl tighter to her. 

Soon enough exhaustion catches up to them and sleep finally comes. 

Faith once again awakens pressed against a warm body, she almost pushes the body away from her wondering why this one-night stand didn't understand that cuddling was a no-no, but her brain catches up and she remembers the night before. 

Getting up so as to not disturb the other girl Faith made her way to the bathroom. The bright fluorescent lights stung her vision, but she pushed back the pain and blinked. Once her vision adjusted, she gave herself a good long look in the mirror.

It's been a long time since Faith willingly looked into a mirror.

As a young girl growing up, she avoided the mirror because she would exactly what she would see, an unloved girl who wouldn't amount to anything. Then she had become a Slayer and she started taking small glimpses, but then the murder and her subsequent downfall made it hard to look again. Then the coma where she couldn't look and after that well, she really didn't want to see herself in a prison uniform. 

But now, she needed to see. Needed to see what this new Faith was.

Shit she looked young, all round faced and big eyes. It was a small shock to her system to be honest. It was one thing to be told she was going to go back to being 14 again, it was another to see it staring back at her in the mirror. 

It wasn't the same 14-year-old Faith that used to be though, the one who ran away from her mother's touchy boyfriends, who never found food in the fridge and sometimes had to beg to eat. No, this Faith looked healthy, looked cared after, this Faith was loved. 

The memories were there but it was hard to reconcile them with the person who loves this Faith. Love for her, and especially from Buffy, just didn't seem like it would ever be a thing, but here she was staring in the face at it. 

Faith had always wondered what it would feel like to actually have someone who cared about her. While this Faith didn't seem to have a mother, or a loving father, she had an older sister who sacrificed herself to make sure Faith got to eat, made sure a hair on her head never got touched, made sure to tell her sister every day that she loved her. 

Faith had no idea how to deal with that.


End file.
